nate mcguire

“I didn’t go to the Lakers game because they were playing the fucking Bobcats… And I came here today because I thought this was a session on how my wife could learn to communicate, how to answer a question without a question, basic Humanity 101, which I thought, given your wall of fucking diplomas, you could easily fix, or if you couldn’t, you could give her a pill that would either fix it or make her a mute. But now, to turn around and gang up on me? I have work to do. I have hundreds of clients to deal with, and just so we’re clear, I don’t care about ANY OF THEM. They’re ALL just a number, like Wife #1 and Therapist #7… GOOD DAY!” - Ari to Wife #1 and Therapist #7

With the new season of Entourage starting last week, it seemed necessary to get you losers in the loop. You’re welcome. Here it comes, you’d better be ready.

HBO gives us another kick ass show, Entourage, one of its few hits outside of the Sopranos. It is produced by the miraculously successful Marky-Mark, I mean Mark Wahlberg and takes place in the daily life of Vince Chase, a young actor in Hollywood who loves women, partying, and happens to make a shit-ton of money doing movies. The boys, Vince, E, Drama, and Turtle, all hail from Queens, NY. The show is centered around the hilarious and vulgar lifestyle that Hollywood embraces, and its pretty much the best that you can get on TV right now. Jeremy Piven as Ari, Vince’s agent, pretty much kicks more ass than anyone has ever done in a role like this. I could watch a show purely about his exploits and it would probably be just as good. His superior acting skills (compared to the sometimes lackluster performances by the other characters) really can bring the show up another level. Another stand out character is Drama, played by Kevin Dillion, who pretty much does some ridiculous shit to make you laugh. And it works.

We’re now at Season 5 (didn’t realize that) so apparently you have a lot of catching up to do if you haven’t watched before. Vince is down in Mexico, sulking over the fact that his movie, Medellin, got completely dominated at Cannes, and now no one wants to work with him. The first episode of this season was definitely a filler episode, but enjoyable none the less. Get ready and catch up to us, ladies. One of the worst things about the show, but best thing for new fans, is the fact that they are only 30 minute episodes. This is great if you go get the DVD’s because you can rock them in about 2 weeks, but sucks for people like me that have watched since the beginning and have to wait week to week. Lame.

I think it is obvious by now that if you are still reading this you’re doing something wrong, because you should be WATCHING the show. Goodbye.

There really aren’t that many things that make me step back and think “wtf are you doing mr. government?” Most of the time I realize that laws that are passed and policies that go into effect typically have some sort of logical purpose although a lot of these things make things better for some and worse for others. That’s pretty much how it works and always has. Except one thing. The attempt the reject the validity of evolution. I’m not anti-religion by any means, but you can’t seriously have beliefs that are shattered by the fact that your ancestors weren’t born 6,000 years ago. I mean really, how do people believe this?

Anyway, an ongoing debate in the US today is the issue of teaching evolution in schools, instead of creationism. Problem number 1. Separation of church and state. Oops? So outside of the fact that it shouldn’t be a debate in the first place, the attempt to make evolution into some wacky “theory” does absolutely nothing but make our government theocratic and American children less educated than the rest of the world. If you want to teach your kids creationism, take them to church, but keep your crazy talk out of schools and places that affect people like my younger siblings and children throughout America.

I didn’t really mean for that to be so much of a rant, but this article of Scientific American spurred me on. You should really read it, entitled “15 Answers to Creationist Nonsense”

“Embarrassingly, in the 21st century, in the most scientifically advanced nation the world has ever known, creationists can still persuade politicians, judges and ordinary citizens that evolution is a flawed, poorly supported fantasy. They lobby for creationist ideas such as “intelligent design” to be taught as alternatives to evolution in science classrooms. As this article goes to press, the Ohio Board of Education is debating whether to mandate such a change. Some antievolutionists, such as Philip E. Johnson, a law professor at the University of California at Berkeley and author of Darwin on Trial, admit that they intend for intelligent-design theory to serve as a “wedge” for reopening science classrooms to discussions of God.

Besieged teachers and others may increasingly find themselves on the spot to defend evolution and refute creationism. The arguments that creationists use are typically specious and based on misunderstandings of (or outright lies about) evolution, but the number and diversity of the objections can put even well-informed people at a disadvantage” [Scientific American]

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this clip is from one of the best movies in the history of cinema, Boondock Saints. You need to see this movie, but of course you have, because you aren’t completely worthless.

[disclaimer: this clip is racially insensitive, inappropriate, and funny. if you get upset easily, don't watch it]

From a little site i like to call perfect, 1000 awesome things brings us #949, Ordering off the menu at fast food restaurants. I know I’m a big proponent of eating at places that actually have some sort of nutritional value, but hey, we aren’t all perfect, and fast food has its place also. Which is in my belly when I’m in a rush.  1000 Awesome Things has a pretty interesting list of things you can order off the menu at fast food restaurants, some of them a little gross sounding. Get after it.

“Ever had a neopolitan milkshake from McDonald’s?

One where they layer the chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla flavors in the same cup, creating a thick, icy, slow-moving light-brown-swirls-with-pink-flecks taste sensation? Yeah, my friend Chad was a regular customer of those. Of course, when he was working at McDonald’s he got sick of the regular menu pretty quickly and started tinkering in the back like a mad scientist with his coworkers, developing exotic, unstable, and unpredictable meal creations with the ingredients on hand. Yes, there were failed attempts, like the Chicken McNugget Flurry, but sometimes they struck gold and created a new off-the-menu line extension. I guess this is fairly common, because there are reports of online McDonald’s employee communities, where insider recipes such as the McBrushetta and McPancakeBatterFunnelCakes are shared.”

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this has been stuck in my head all day. so now it can get stuck in yours. you’re welcome.

Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I liked to take a minute
Just sit right there
I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air

In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin’ out maxin’ relaxin’ all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Startin making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said ‘You’re movin’ with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air’

Today I bring you the weekend preview, happy friday, bitches!  Everything you can, should, and want to be doing this weekend.

Food:

I’m going classy and obvious on you this week, seeing as its your first time. Abacus, a Dallas expensive-knock-your-date’s-socks-off restaurant, this place is all you’ll ever need if you have money to blow. Go try it out, because I’m sure as hell not going to. That’s because its super expensive, but impressive none the less.  Make reservations ahead, because apparently its always busy.  “Deliciously eclectic 5-star cuisine, served in a trendy, relaxed setting”

Entertainment:

Hello heaven.  Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring you one of the greatest inventions since DVR and bittorrent. TOP GOLF!  This place is pretty much the most fun you can have with a golf club if you’re not Tiger Woods. It involves a sport (one of the few that I like even though I suck at it), drinking (think pitchers), and competition. You aim, if you can, at big targets from a two level driving range. Its really a lot more fun than I am able to describe, so you pretty much have to visit their website, or just freakin’ go play.

Sports:

Obviously, the Horns are going to dominate again on Saturday, when we play UTEP.  For some reason the game is at 9:15pm central, which is odd, but whatever. You still have to watch. Outside of that, if you’re in a fantasy league you’d better be on your shit because NFL starts for real this weekend. None of that Thursday night teaser stuff.

TV:

You’re joking right? The only TV that is worth watching is Sunday night, and that’s Entourage on HBO and Mad Men on AMC. Freakin’ go outside or something.

A little treat, from me to you.

So I wasn’t planning on posting again today, but I was reading one of my favorite foodie sites, Serious Eats, and I came across this tidbit of knowledge that had to be shared with you lowlifes. This is by far the most comprehensive guide to sandwiches in the US, with a mostly Eastern bias. That’s probably because they invented most of the good stuff and the south was left creating things like this. I guess I’m a little nerdy in the fact that I appreciate knowing the difference between heroes, grinders, subs, cubans, and the like.  Sandwiches in general are some of my favorite things, and variety is the spice of life. Read on.

“Hoagies, heroes, subs, wedges, po’boys, grinders, and the list goes on. No matter what you call your hometown hero, we’re here to talk about America’s best hot and cold versions—for now, we’ll define it as a sandwich on a long individual bread or baguette. Whether the name refers to the people who eat them (Cubans, Italians) or the shape (submarine, torpedo, zeppelin), the long list of monikers should at the very least give you a hint of the importance and history of this most beloved and humble sandwich.” [SeriousEats.com]

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welcome to thirsty thursday, you’re so close to the weekend.

you just got gary coleman’d.

With the long weekend and all, I haven’t had a chance to go eat anywhere new and review it for you guys.  Luckily for you, I’ve got something up my sleeve. This article is from Men’s Health and involves you actually cooking something.  Don’t be shocked, this is a food and entertainment site, and at some point you may have to cook. With that in mind, it isn’t that difficult and it’s a great concept.  Shop once, eat for a week. This isn’t just lunch, but your whole week. You shop and buy like 16 things for under 50 bucks and have meals that are actually really good and easy to make.

This is something that really applies to guys in college, single guys, or whoever eats alone most of the time. It combines smart shopping with healthy food, and the stuff actually tastes good.  I’ve done this quite a few times and some of the recipes on here are things that have become some of my favorite recipes.  I always make some modifications to them, or skip a meal here and there to mix it up, but if you actually try this the first time, I would do it all the way through because sometimes you end up thinking you don’t need something and then you get to friday and say. “fuck“.

Enjoy.

“You might not use the terms “pizza box” and “serving dish” interchangeably, but if you’re like most guys, you probably could. That’s because 64 percent of men spend little or no time on meal planning. Their excuse? Time and money constraints. Unfortunately — and perhaps not coincidentally — that number parallels the 64 percent who are overweight. It’s no wonder: The inexpensive, time-saving foods that guys choose most often are also the ones that are the highest in sugar, fat, and calories, according to a recent study from the University of Washington.

Thankfully, we have a culinary solution that’ll perfectly fit your budget, schedule, and diet. The plan: Set aside 20 minutes on Sunday to fulfill our 16-item shopping list, then forget about your wallet — and collection of takeout menus — for the rest of the workweek. By following our 5-day meal plan, you’ll have the precise number of ingredients to create 10 fast, flavorful meals, all of which are designed to help you build muscle and melt fat while saving you money. (The average price of 10 meals eaten out: $85; the total price of our meals: $47.96.) Each night, you’ll simply prepare a quick and easy dinner, and then creatively use the leftovers to assemble the next day’s lunch. Call it the mixologist’s guide to eating. The best part? While the other guys are stuck on hold in drive-thrus, you’ll be rolling through the express line with your next 10 meals in tow.” [Men's Health]

Meals and Recipes

Grocery List [PDF Warning]